First Purnami of phagun ,how could she forget ? Tomorrow is Holi, Mohu woke up at midnight ,took ablutions with holy well water which wud atone her sins, applied vermillion on head (sindoor)which represents energy of sati...
Mohu,was married for seven years now,Madho was still asleep,she touched his feet daubed her forehead with divine ashes from the pot,draped herself in clean saree and hurriedly scurried her steps towards the Kamakhya temple. Chanting mantras, three years in consequence now .........But this time ''I am sure I will religiously chant mantras to propitiate Devi's blessings for a son.......There must be something wrong in my devotion or my past life sins are coming in way'' , thought Mohu...that was what Aghori baba had told her .
A sudden backache seemed to have hurt her otherwise uninterrupted devotion it was the cold which was chilling her spine shivering in cotton Saree the only cloth she was supposed to wear she stepped on the cold stair way of the temple ,fog all around her, the hair and pores on her body rebelled her devotion though.......she would not let it happen otherwise it could incur Maa's wrath on her and her family.
Keeping all her ambiguous thinking at bay she geed her thoughts towards the very cause she was there at this hour ;The prime motive of her life -The very cause of her sustenance on the planet,The very cause of her being given life as a women .
She had to be mother of a son to prove herself a part of her husbands life or to put it'' an important part'' of her husbands life and she chanted mantra to appease Maa's blessings who like her was also a form of mother who would salvate her child from harm; which probably she herself could not do.
This again was drawing her into a thought process which was contrary. Her steps drew her nearer to a dark ,strange shrine. Aghori baba's incantatory invokes reprised her soliciting traitorous will....
''Lap up the contents in the shell'' asked Aghori baba, Mohu new this ordain' ers licentiates wud get her approval despite the aversion for the ritual which was the only way to redeem her.
''Mohu i can see Maa Kaali is not happy with your offerings its your past sins which infringe your right to be a mother''.. predicted baba.Ma asks for a greater sacrifice,to ensure a son foecasted the tantras....
The incense of joss stick suddenly seemed to insensate her,her cold feet were getting colder.Baba carried on Mohu u still have to anoint your forehead with fresh blood which you will offer Maa,the only hinge to all ways leading to fertility of your womb.
Mohu grew numb her thoughts racing into her mind making her numbness more. She was clouded in a nebula of thoughts of her own.She asked herself''' Maa Kaali meant kaal ,she destroyed evil Mohu was an evil for sure, an evil mother but was'nt Aghori baba a greater evil ?.The dismembered arms of Maia distracted her and saw the sword in Ma's hand which was there to behead sinners Mohu knew; her blood which was curdling due to cold suddenly started boiling in a seething fire of disgust wrath,vengeance and she took the sword charged towards the malevolent and beheaded him saying ''Jai Maa''...........the same way he had brutally immolated her Phulo her innocent two year old daughter!!!!
A sense of relief insinuated her nerves and tearful eyes . This was very necessary to ensure redeeming her soul from sin she had done she said to herself..
It was first purnami of phagun three years now....... three years of separation from her beloved daughter the bout of her anger diluted,she for the first time cried loud howling mournful wails of her heavy heart,the misery which could not let go.
Suddenly she felt Phoolo calling her, yearning to meet her daughter grew immense she wanted to hug her take her in arms ,huddle her love her.
Mohu circumbulated there on the holy fire blew the cosmic womb-conch '' emulating divine order and succumbed to flames of eternity where she will not have to prove herself......it was.....purnami of phagun....The fatefull day she had offered to sacrifice her daughter ,to attain a son,that omened purnami of phagun......
